Dealing With Valentine’s Day Anxiety

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and that means different things for different people. While some love February 14th others just can’t wait for the day to be over (and the discounted chocolate). However, for some, Valentine’s Day can cause anxiety.


The catch? You don’t have to be single to feel anxious about Valentines. You can be in a relationship feel anxious about this love-filled holiday. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and that means different things for different people. While some love February 14th others just can’t wait for the day to be over (and the discounted chocolate). However, for some, Valentine’s Day can cause anxiety.


The catch? You don’t have to be single to feel anxious about Valentines. You can be in a relationship and feel anxious about this love-filled holiday.


As a society, we are constantly receiving messages that we 1) must be in a relationship, and 2) must be in the ‘perfect’ relationship - because if you’re not, you’re doing it all wrong. But this commonly leaves us judging ourselves, feeling down and deeming that we are missing something important in our life.


Now, don’t get us wrong. Being in love is ahhh-mazing, but if you’re feeling like you’re defining your happiness on love - you ARE doing it all wrong.


So, instead of falling for unrealistic expectations on Valentine’s Day, try shifting the expectations to be stress-free - and whatever you want it to be. Hell, disregard Valentine’s Day all together if you want.


With all of that said, Valentine’s Day anxiety is real and for some, is a real concern. So, if that’s you - we’ve managed to make a list of how you can manage your Valentine’s Day anxiety.


  1. Practice Self-Care


Take the time to get in touch with yourself in a non-judgemental way.


No matter your relationship status, if you feel that Valentine’s Day is triggering your anxiety turn to self-care. For some, that means meditating, for others it could mean heading to the gym, spending time in nature, or indulging in all the heart-shaped candy.


A date for one - and that’s OK.


That shows that you’re taking your wellness and mental health seriously.


2. There Are Different Types of Love


Remind yourself, that every relationship differs. What one couple values is not always the same as another couple. While many people now base Valentine’s Day on extravagant presents, fancy dinner dates and huge romantic gestures - this does not define or validate love.


With that said, Valentine’s Day is not just limited to a romantic relationship.


Send your family and friends some Valentine’s Day love. It’s a great way to make others feel special. At the end of the day relationships may come and go - but your friends and family are forever.


So if you have some single friends, doing something fun together is a great way to connect with others, instead of feeling lonely.


3. Treat Yourself


Stop waiting for somebody else to shower you with love. Shower yourself with love. If your Valentine’s Day anxiety is creeping up because you’re single, then think of it as a day to treat yourself.


Plan something for yourself, even if it’s a special night alone. Maybe your favourite movie, a favourite meal or a bottle of your favourite wine.


Have no shame. Indulge yourself!


Who said you have to be in a relationship to enjoy Valentine’s Day?


4. Suffering From Performance Anxiety


Valentine’s Day sex is like the Super Bowl without the helmet shoulder pays and Adam Levine… Unless you’re into those sorts of thing.


But for many people, you may feel an enormous amount of pressure for this night to be extra special. The night leading up to it can be flawless, but as soon as one thing doesn’t go right it can cause you to spiral out of control and well, we all know what pressure can do…


Having a disappointing sexual experience from time to time is perfectly normal. However, men with performance anxiety may dwell on this even or consider it a failure. This may lead them to be anxious about sexual activity in the future. Instead of focusing on the negative outcome, it may help to identify what stressor or worry influence the symptom. Shifting the focus to the cause rather than the symptom may help reduce the pressure.


Many men with performance anxiety relieve their perceived sexual failure regularly. They may constantly worry about what their partner is thinking or how they will be percieved. During sexual activity, it helps to focus on sensory rather than analyzing the event.


5. Shift Your Idea of What Romance Is


For some, just the idea of trying to be romantic can cause anxiety.


In other words, you don’t have to book reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town and shower them with flowers and candy. Romance is showing you care and love your partner. That doesn’t have to mean giving them material things.


You shouldn’t feel the need to gift mainstream Valentine’s Day gift idea to show your affection. Get creative. What is something they enjoy but normally wouldn’t do or get themselves? Or maybe you can do something for them that will help them relax and ease their anxiety?


So, what are we trying to say?


Ultimately, it’s your choice as to how to acknowledge Valentine’s Day. It’s a day that’s meant to be a happy one. If you’re in a relationship, don’t put too much pressure on yourself for Valentine’s Day. The measure of your relationship should be what you do the other 364 days of the year. And, if you’re single, welcome the back-to-back day of fun with Galentine’s Day on February 13th.


Noor Aubaid